Brett Orders a Pizza (via typewriter)

Brett Writes to the Defense Sciences Office

Typically, I don't like the letters I write to require any explanation. Jokes aren't funny when they're explained. So I won't go into it, I'll just rub the tearful snot off my face, and provide you a link as explanation. Shit... I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

Read this, then read my letter.

Brett TOTALLY Crosses the Line (...writes to Wolf Blitzer)

More to come...

You're all a bunch of spoiled brats.

I send 30+ letters in the last two months, and then take a short break to xmas myself... and y'all get uppity looking for more.

Don't worry, assholes. You have my secret hearts, and I'll be posting more soon.

"I kiss you!",

Brett

Literary Week - Wednesday: Brett Writes to the New York State Department of Education

"Ba ba da daaa! Bum ba da da da daaaahhh!"

The audio feature is here. I've composed four different letters' audio so far.

Poetry, Portman, Orangina, and Sears are all now in audio format. Click, listen, enjoy, comment.

Click here for some celebratory audio.

Literary Week - Monday: Brett Writes to the Poetry Society of America

*** Audio update ***

Click here to hear the letter read.

Introducing: Literary Week

I had this idea literally forty-five seconds ago. We'll all see how it pans out.

This week, the 17th through the 21st, will be literary week. I'll work hard tonight on giving all y'all a reverse birthday present with a big update tomorrow. I mean fuck... what else do you do on your birthday at work? (in case Mr. Mancusi is reading this blog again, the answer is "working")

By the way, I love your comments. Comment at will. In two months, we've seen over 3,500 hits from five continents and over forty countries. It is very soothing to know that the world has people with humor as fucked up as mine.

Brett Writes to Mattel Toys

Brett Writes to Orangina

***Audio Update***

Click here to hear the letter read.

Brett Writes to the MTA

Brett Writes to Natalie Portman

*** Audio Update ***

Click here to hear the letter read.

Brett Writes to the U.S. Ambassador to Spain

Brett "Writes" to The Queen's English Society

Brett Writes to Sears, Roebuck & Co.

*** Audio Update ***

Click here to hear the letter read.