Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
I get asked probably once a day what kind of replies I get to my letters. I get very, very few replies. These letters are frequently offensive and ignorant enough that they don't even warrant a reply from the most magnanimous and consumer-friendly of organizations.
So imagine my surprise last night when probably my most absurd and stupid letter got a response. There was a thick envelope waiting for me when I got home from work last night. Who wrote to lil' ol' me? The Church & Dwight Company, Inc. These guys are the parent company of Trojan condoms.
Click here to read my incredibly stupid letter.
Because of my supposed raging ignorance about condoms, they were kind enough to send a small brochure about how to use their product next time I'm with the lady-folk. The form letter from them was half disappointing, and half hilarious.
I write to them suggesting that their water balloons might be good for sex, and they say "sorry".
Also, for my trouble, they sent me a check for $5. (I've blocked out the routing/account/check numbers, because I'm not an asshole/idiot)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Along the right panel of the website, I'll be featuring "Ask Jesus".
Today is the column's first installment. Jesus answers a letter from Janet in Gainesville, Florida. Click play to hear Jesus' reply.
Just recently I passed through Louisiana on a drive to Florida. On a stop at a gas station, I came across the most amazing thing.... single-dose birth control packets! Should I trust these little miracle pills to block the trucker’s tadpoles?
Word to your mother, yo.
Hit play to hear Jesus' reply:
If the player doesn't load for you, click this link instead: Listen to Jesus!
E-mail Jesus at: email@example.com