Thursday, April 24, 2008

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Monday, April 7, 2008

Friday, April 4, 2008

No. No, you can't have any.

So, for a solid month now, I've posted a letter for every weekday, plus fairly frequent updates on weekends. I need a goddamn break. Don't worry, I'll just be gone the weekend. Kickball and alcohol are on the agenda.

Traffic has gone through the roof here, and it's probably a bad time to need a break... but there's only so much quality and class that I can cram up your ass at one time.

I'll be returning with more "ASK JESUS", and plenty more letters. Your feedback keeps me going. If you're too shy a flower to talk to me, at least e-mail Jesus to ask him a question.

Hearts and sex,


P.S. If you're a total asshole who simply needs to laugh, here's a good link from the past: Click here, you greedy slut.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Maybelline/Garnier Writes to Brett

Companies will apologize for anything.

Remember when I wrote a completely neutral, disinterested consumer letter to Garnier Fructis?

Well, they got back to me:

That's $10 I've "earned" from my labor. That pays for registering this domain for a year. Maybe if I complain to Fort Knox I'll get a complimentary bar of gold.

Ooh, I should complain to Elizabeth Berg about something.