Brett (and Michelle Trachtenberg) Write to J.D. Power & Associates

Brett Writes to the 3M Corporation

Brett is a fan of Goldfish crackers. (and your mom)

"Brett, you're a total asshole. Only stupid and terrible people like Goldfish crackers. If you love them so much, why don't you marry them? Or at least write them a letter." This is a 100% accurate quote straight from the mouth of the author of Red Pen, Inc. She wants me dead.

Brett Writes to the Wheel of Fortune

Sarah Jessica Parker USED to look like a horse. Now she looks like a dead horse.

Brett Writes to Random House Publishing

Brett Writes to Office Depot to Corner the Paperclip Market

Brett Writes to Custom Limo Designers

Brett Purchases Some Lab Rats

Brett Just Wanted to Dance!

Brett Writes to a Farm Animal Sanctuary in Upstate New York

Brett Writes to Charmin Toilet Paper

Brett Writes to the ATF

Brett Writes to Gannett Newspapers

*100th LETTER SPECIAL!* - Brett Writes to the CW Television Network

Brett Writes to Scarlett Johansson

Brett writes to NYC Criminal Court to plead his ticket

Brett Writes to Idiom Internet Providers

Brett Writes to the Swedes to End American Idol