Lord Brett Epistleizes David Letterman

Brett valiantly attempts to save a small Japanese town from their certain doom.

Brett hath not talent, sire!

I'm sick of writing blog titles for this shit. Just read the letter.

Brett Writes to Paul Wall

In the considerably fortunate circumstances upon which you haven't heard of Paul Wall, promptly lose your virginity (and lunch) while watching this: The worst thing ever created.

Brett is dead.

Brett Writes to Mr. Joe's Portable Toilets

Great success.

Good eve, all.

Thank you for your forbearance. I have letters forthcoming.

Also, a question for you all. Am I allowed to feel a bit saddened at the fact that an ex-girlfriend sold a Tiffany's necklace I gave her on eBay?

The answer, as any connoisseur of relational matters will tell you is, "Of course not! Don't have girlfriends!"