Brett's Gonna be a STAR!

Brett Joins a New Party!

An Open Letter Seeking the Position of Truancy Officer

"Cody" the Whale Died

Brett is a Girl Gone Wild

Brett Writes (no joke) to Jesus Christ

So I suppose this one needs a little back story.

I've wanted for awhile to write a letter to a completely random person. I planned on blocking their name out to protect their identity, and just type them an utterly absurd letter. For reasons I don't care to recall, I did a white pages search for Jesus Christ, and searched here in New York state. Lo and fucking behold, there's someone listed in the white pages as "Jesus Christ" 3.5 miles from where I live.

"Brooklyn." I said calmly to myself, "Yeah, that makes sense."

At this point, there's really no reason to block out his name. If you either were named Jesus Christ, or changed your name to Jesus Christ and are happily listed in the phone book, you've effectively asked for it.

*150th Posting* Brett Writes to Michael Moore

Because I know that I'll receive an e-mail about this, I'm letting you all know that "catty-corner" is an acceptable alternative to the "kitty-corner" you all seem to prefer. Additionally, I'm always correct, and you only pass off competence on occasion. Congrats.

Brett wonders if there's life on NASA.